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Benjamin is now grown and has moved out-of-state to work in the technology and communications field. What a whirlwind life has been. I suppose parents often consider the question, "Are we doing a good job?" As parents of ADHD children, it seems you never get a chance to think until it's all over.

I understood a little about how Ben thought and the uncontrollable energy he had because I remembered those days of growing up in public schools during the 50's and 60's. My first awareness that people didn't think the way I did was in 1st grade when I stood on top of my desk to look out the window, being compelled to find out what the loud noise was that I heard. It was a coal truck delivering coal. Why everybody wasn't standing on their desks to find out certainly puzzled me. When asked by the teacher, "Would you stand on the kitchen table to look out of the window at home!?," I answered honestly and emphatically, "Of course!" That led to one of those parent-teacher conferences ADHD families are very familiar with.

My Daddy never spanked me in his life (much to the dismay of my poor worn-out mother who had to make up for it with a 12" paddle ball board). The only time he considered it was when I set a fire under the end of a cot, while I was playing 'camp out' in my bedroom. I think he was concerned, since I had already set a fire in the church rectory only a few months before. I guess I thought I could do it right the second time around? Action, not thought, is more the rule with ADHD.

Although those memories didn't change life's scenario with our only child, they certainly gave me an appreciation and understanding of how tough my Mom was to hang in there with me. Her example may be what caused me to try as hard as I could to be a good Mother to a child that seemed determined to prove that parenting was an archaic principle of life.

Our son was born the same year we discovered natural alternatives for some health problems the doctors dismissed with the term, "You'll just have to learn to live with it." Well, that's easy to say when YOU're not having to live with it. When we got results on 'impossible' chronic ailments, we made a choice that we were going to take the simpler route first from then on.

As the years went by, we were amazed to find what types of conditions could be handled at home and our confidence grew. We didn't become anti-doctor; we just wanted to avoid the complexity of the medical world and the side effects of medications. In that pursuit, our child turned 19 without the use of any drugs, over-the-counter or prescription.

When we realized our son was Hyperactive (that was before they had the ADHD term), we studied everything we could get our hands on. After getting a gut full of rejection from Mother's Day Out Programs, Vacation Bible Schools, Sunday School and Kindergarten teachers, I decided I was going to Home School.

Teaching is not in the scope of my natural giftings and skills, other than being able to fill out a Planning Schedule in great detail with unmatched efficiency. However, if you've lived with an ADHD child, you realize that a schedule is not something to be followed, but is rather an invitation for creativity to accomplish nothing listed therein.

Well, I must tell you that it wasn't as horrible as it sounds. We started on natural remedies (herbs and vitamins) to build and repair that nervous system. We had changed our diet to eliminate meat, white flour and sugar, and chemicals by the time he was introduced to pureed foods, so we didn't have to deal with the degree of frenzy that most families have had....and I have compared MANY stories. We counted our blessings when we could catch our breath!

His body absorbed those minerals like a sponge, and he soon went from 4 hours sleep a night to 8. I remember the first morning it was 7 am and he wasn't up yet. My husband and I were enjoying every minute until we noticed what time it was and were horrified to think that maybe he'd died, and we hadn't even bothered to look in on him. We ran back to his room to find him sound asleep.

I think our mindset during the years has been to try to change Ben, when all the while God was using every day to change us. My favorite reality check is: "Everybody has the circumstances necessary to build character into their lives, and compared to concentration camp, this is a breeze." ADHD kids are brilliant! As one lady puts it, "There's nothing wrong with ADHD people except that the world doesn't move fast enough to keep up with THEM."

We made it through the journey without drugs, and I know the three of us are better off for it. I had a friend who taught 'special kids', and when I would wonder if a 'magic pill' would make life simpler, she would tell me, "You don't know what it's like to look at the kids that have been put on medication and see the light go out of their eyes." Yes, they behave better, but there seems to be a large deficit on who the child really is in the tradeoff.

Thanks for the opportunity to share hope with you!

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