Burnout and Boundaries
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Hello Fellow Sojourners!
When we visited the Anza-Borrego Desert State Park we took opportunities to use the pull-offs to view the canyons as we climbed higher into the desert mountains. We would inhale the amazingly fresh and crisp air and listen to the deafening sounds of silence. It was really awesome to view flowers and butterflies on Valentine's Day.
Not one sound from the Bighorn Sheep that we hoped to see, but at one stop I looked down into the canyon for movement and saw something shiny. Getting the binoculars I discovered it was a pickup truck hanging on the side of the cliff. Can you see it in this photo?
Why didn't it fly and roll down to the bottom of the mountain? There were some big rocks that had stopped it. I zoomed in for a closeup of the truck and hoped the person survived. I also wondered how that event changed their life. I would love to find out and be able to tell you. I should've been more of a detective and taken down the license plate number. :-)
Sometimes we have to hit a brick wall before life gets our attention and we ask the big questions about what we want life to mean to us when we look back down our road. The Roadrunner in the desert made me think how our culture demands more and more speed. We need to slow down before we run over the cliff of life.
Don't make this just another day!
Hugs and Blessings!
Donna
Today's Featured Article
Burnout and Boundaries
by Donna L. Watkins
We're a bit of the way into a new year now and we can evaulate whether or not our lives are matching up to what we thought about at the end of last year and the beginning of this one. I find that end of years is a time when I do a lot of pondering about what my previous year looked like. What did I accomplish? Did I set my priorities correctly? Did I set boundaries on how I would use my time and finances? Did I enforce those boundaries on myself and others so that I could accomplish what I felt was my God-given assignment for that year?
If we don't put the important things in life first, they will never be included in our days run by "tyranny of the urgent." Do you ever complain about your busy schedule and how much there is to get done? Who made the schedule? Oh, I know! I've been there loading up my schedule because of all the things I "had to do" or my segment of the world would fall apart. I felt like my family required so much, but looking back I can take full credit for putting that pressure on myself. It all had to be done my way which, of course, was the "right" way. :-)
I remember somebody telling me that Martha Washington was dead for 200 years but Mount Vernon was still being cleaned and cared for. That visual image has stayed with me for many years.
Tony Campolo talks of a time when he was a child and had a close relationship with the guy who ran The Franklin Institute. He retained that friendship until the man died. He made it to his bedside after a stroke, telling him he came right from the airport because he had been speaking. The man replied, "You go all over the world to people, who 10 years from now won't remember your name, but you haven't time for those who really care about you."
Tony could've been offended, but he took those words to heart and changed his life. As always when we change our outlook on life, we attract others who have done the same. He had a friend who got a call from the White House asking him to consult with the President. His friend said no because he'd promised to be with his granddaughter. The nation survived and with this kind of grandfather, I'm sure that little girl learned a lot about doing what's truly important in life.
We are influenced by advertising and books that tell us we don't have any self-worth so we must spin ourselves trying to create it. Do you take time for what's important in life? Are you spending time with those who care about you? Maybe you don't believe anybody cares for you, so you run to and fro seeking acceptance and praise for what you accomplish. I can ask the question .... I've been there.
Most of my life was spent believing that it was what I got done that was all important ... and yet when I look back, I don't find that the ones I was performing for were even noticing. Oh yes, I got a few comments from "the crowd" about how much I got done and that my Super Woman cape was always without wrinkles.
If I had the choice to choose again, would I trade those hectic to-do-driven years for those few comments? Never! May I presume to guess that you won't either, so maybe you'd like to turn around before looking back is so far away.
Jesus never rushed about and he took plenty of time for rest and relaxation. He spent time with those most important to him and His mission on earth.
What is your mission? Jesus honored Mary who sat at his feet while Martha was caught up in the duties of the moment having to "do it all now." Do we get our timing and priorities mixed? I still struggle with it. I had too many years of doing it wrong. I now have to make sure my boundaries are secure.
We can resent the people who pressure us to do what they want, which feeds our silent anger and causes physical, emotional and spiritual problems. We are called to determine what is right in our own heart and to act on it. We need to take responsibility for our lives, learning to put first things first.
Don't expect everybody to understand, and don't do it with arrogance. If there are people who depend on you, work it out. Make a plan to bow out and work the plan. If you lose some friends, you'll know they had their own agenda. You are losing nothing and gaining all.
Don't let life slip by. Seek your heart on what you truly want your life to look like when you are 10 years down the road looking back. What do you want your children and grandchildren and spouse to remember? More important than that is this: What do you want to remember? Only you can make your life what you want it to be. I believe the reason some people age so much as they get older is the regrets they carry. We all have time to make it different. Each day is a gift.
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Forward this article to a friend by email or by sending them a link to the blog:
www.theherbsplace.com/AHMblog/ahm.html
More Spiritual Articles
You can view previous articles that have been sent in "A Healing Moment" on our website. Find more articles here.
Complimentary Email Newsletters
The Herbs Place offers several newsletters with topics such as natural health, essential oils, pets, nature, and frugal living. Read more about these newsletters.
Copyright and Reprint Information
© 2007 Donna L. Watkins
All photos remain the property of Donna L. Watkins. You may forward or use this copyrighted article on a website if you include the following credit and link:
This article originally published in "A Healing Moment" was reprinted with permission. The Herbs Place provides a free email subscription to "A Healing Moment." Visit the author's website for more articles and other free newsletters available. http://www.theherbsplace.com/ahm.html
Hello Fellow Sojourners!When we visited the Anza-Borrego Desert State Park we took opportunities to use the pull-offs to view the canyons as we climbed higher into the desert mountains. We would inhale the amazingly fresh and crisp air and listen to the deafening sounds of silence. It was really awesome to view flowers and butterflies on Valentine's Day.
Not one sound from the Bighorn Sheep that we hoped to see, but at one stop I looked down into the canyon for movement and saw something shiny. Getting the binoculars I discovered it was a pickup truck hanging on the side of the cliff. Can you see it in this photo?
Why didn't it fly and roll down to the bottom of the mountain? There were some big rocks that had stopped it. I zoomed in for a closeup of the truck and hoped the person survived. I also wondered how that event changed their life. I would love to find out and be able to tell you. I should've been more of a detective and taken down the license plate number. :-)
Sometimes we have to hit a brick wall before life gets our attention and we ask the big questions about what we want life to mean to us when we look back down our road. The Roadrunner in the desert made me think how our culture demands more and more speed. We need to slow down before we run over the cliff of life.
Don't make this just another day!
Hugs and Blessings!
Donna
Today's Featured Article
Burnout and Boundaries by Donna L. Watkins
We're a bit of the way into a new year now and we can evaulate whether or not our lives are matching up to what we thought about at the end of last year and the beginning of this one. I find that end of years is a time when I do a lot of pondering about what my previous year looked like. What did I accomplish? Did I set my priorities correctly? Did I set boundaries on how I would use my time and finances? Did I enforce those boundaries on myself and others so that I could accomplish what I felt was my God-given assignment for that year?
If we don't put the important things in life first, they will never be included in our days run by "tyranny of the urgent." Do you ever complain about your busy schedule and how much there is to get done? Who made the schedule? Oh, I know! I've been there loading up my schedule because of all the things I "had to do" or my segment of the world would fall apart. I felt like my family required so much, but looking back I can take full credit for putting that pressure on myself. It all had to be done my way which, of course, was the "right" way. :-)
I remember somebody telling me that Martha Washington was dead for 200 years but Mount Vernon was still being cleaned and cared for. That visual image has stayed with me for many years.
Tony Campolo talks of a time when he was a child and had a close relationship with the guy who ran The Franklin Institute. He retained that friendship until the man died. He made it to his bedside after a stroke, telling him he came right from the airport because he had been speaking. The man replied, "You go all over the world to people, who 10 years from now won't remember your name, but you haven't time for those who really care about you."
Tony could've been offended, but he took those words to heart and changed his life. As always when we change our outlook on life, we attract others who have done the same. He had a friend who got a call from the White House asking him to consult with the President. His friend said no because he'd promised to be with his granddaughter. The nation survived and with this kind of grandfather, I'm sure that little girl learned a lot about doing what's truly important in life.
We are influenced by advertising and books that tell us we don't have any self-worth so we must spin ourselves trying to create it. Do you take time for what's important in life? Are you spending time with those who care about you? Maybe you don't believe anybody cares for you, so you run to and fro seeking acceptance and praise for what you accomplish. I can ask the question .... I've been there.
Most of my life was spent believing that it was what I got done that was all important ... and yet when I look back, I don't find that the ones I was performing for were even noticing. Oh yes, I got a few comments from "the crowd" about how much I got done and that my Super Woman cape was always without wrinkles.
If I had the choice to choose again, would I trade those hectic to-do-driven years for those few comments? Never! May I presume to guess that you won't either, so maybe you'd like to turn around before looking back is so far away.
Jesus never rushed about and he took plenty of time for rest and relaxation. He spent time with those most important to him and His mission on earth.
What is your mission? Jesus honored Mary who sat at his feet while Martha was caught up in the duties of the moment having to "do it all now." Do we get our timing and priorities mixed? I still struggle with it. I had too many years of doing it wrong. I now have to make sure my boundaries are secure.
We can resent the people who pressure us to do what they want, which feeds our silent anger and causes physical, emotional and spiritual problems. We are called to determine what is right in our own heart and to act on it. We need to take responsibility for our lives, learning to put first things first.
Don't expect everybody to understand, and don't do it with arrogance. If there are people who depend on you, work it out. Make a plan to bow out and work the plan. If you lose some friends, you'll know they had their own agenda. You are losing nothing and gaining all.
Don't let life slip by. Seek your heart on what you truly want your life to look like when you are 10 years down the road looking back. What do you want your children and grandchildren and spouse to remember? More important than that is this: What do you want to remember? Only you can make your life what you want it to be. I believe the reason some people age so much as they get older is the regrets they carry. We all have time to make it different. Each day is a gift.
Forward To A Friend
Forward this article to a friend by email or by sending them a link to the blog:
www.theherbsplace.com/AHMblog/ahm.html
More Spiritual Articles
You can view previous articles that have been sent in "A Healing Moment" on our website. Find more articles here.
Complimentary Email Newsletters
The Herbs Place offers several newsletters with topics such as natural health, essential oils, pets, nature, and frugal living. Read more about these newsletters.
Copyright and Reprint Information
© 2007 Donna L. Watkins
All photos remain the property of Donna L. Watkins. You may forward or use this copyrighted article on a website if you include the following credit and link:
This article originally published in "A Healing Moment" was reprinted with permission. The Herbs Place provides a free email subscription to "A Healing Moment." Visit the author's website for more articles and other free newsletters available. http://www.theherbsplace.com/ahm.html
posted by Donna at 4:30 PM
2 Comments:
I am referring to how you said we can change things. We cannot. Our children are grown and gone. They all live a long way from us. We would so much like to be around our families and grandchildren, but we cannot. The prices of houses have gone up so much, that a person cannot afford to buy one. We rent an apartment while our oldest and family lives out of the country and our other two children out of state. I know God made families and I do not understand why our families have to be so far apart. We have been alone about 12 years now. We have nothing to get up for in the morning. I am sorry, I am sure you do not want to hear this, but it is true. It is not necessarily as easy to change things like you said. It is not just a matter of doing it. It takes finances to be able to change things. If you don't have the finances you live alone with a breaking heart, and yes, I am a Christian and I do not see God helping one bit.
My reply to anonymous and all of us with broken hearts ...
Not sure of the content of that particular message, but I can understand the heartbreak of having your children away from you. We only have one child, a son, and he lives in Okla. City while we are in Virginia. If I dwell on the sadness of that, my whole life is affected. Inside I feel like there should've been more time or something, but fact is that it is the past and this is today. We aren't to hang on to our children and possibly, if he was near, I would trust more in him making me happy than Him.
Happiness is based on happenings, but joy is based on who we are and what we can be with Christ's strength making it possible. We were not left without hope, but I my natural self (old nature) likes to put my foot down and want it "my way." I was raised as an only child and was quite used to getting my way, but our Heavenly Papa is much better than earthly parents and allows things into our lives that will be used for our good (if we love Him and let him according to Romans 8).
For a long time I had to make the choice daily to receive God's love for today ... and not base it on the past or future of relationships ... but to just take today and its blessings. It wasn't easy. Being in America means the culture and media shouts at you to have it the way you want it and to have it all (if you want to be in debt up to your forehead). In reality, it's never possible to have the lives portrayed in Hollywood and advertising. Within ourselves and our female emotions, we are hopeless, especially as mothers who have loved their children (and for those who have not and wished they had).
But! when I wrote down blessings from each day and went to bed at night recounting them and making myself smiling about them .... each day got better and better and those blessings erased the pain of loss and grief of separation. It wasn't easy (and I still shed tears now and then but quickly move on by choice) ... but one day I thought about the picture I was painting for my son ... that life isn't fair or good unless I have it my way. I certainly didn't want to pass that down for a heritage so I began thinking of what I would like to be my legacy to him as I age and grow in Christ. That has become my focus and motivation ... because I need a big kick in the butt to get out of seeing life as a small circle around myself.
What I came to realize is that I could live a joyful life whether I had Ben or not ... and I'm sure he lives a more joyful life being able to mature and grow w/o me being on top of him. He's certainly matured in ways that I have been amazed at ... and that's all God for sure. Would I trade that to be closer to him? Hmmmm .... pause, NO NEVER! :-)
I ponder how families were together and three generations would grow up in the same household ... but I guess it's the change in culture and that change doesn't make for much maturity in this generation ... so maybe they need to be away from us to develop into who they are supposed to be. I don't know ... but I can come up with many scenarios being a thinker, but the reality is that it's my "path" of learning to trust in Him. We have become a nation in fear and told not to trust anybody at any time ... so it invades our relationship with Christ also, but that's where we have to exercise faith --- and like a muscle it does get easier the more you use it.
It's not that the pain goes away --- I know it doesn't for the rheumatoid junk I deal with and it doesn't change the deformity and inability to use my hands for certain tasks -- but God's still in the business of healing and like Job, I want to choose to serve and worship Him regardless of my earthly circumstances. It all comes down to whether I believe He is God and has my best interests at heart. When I choose "yes" to that question, the grief and pain and confusion and lack of understanding it all (shall we call that control? :-) melts away to be replaced by the incredible love of God surrounding me.
Thoughts of the "narrow gate" come to mind since it's sure a daily task to remain in peace and joy, but it takes no more energy than it does to get up grumbling and complaining. You just have to jump the hurdle the devil puts in our face to get to the green pastures. To be able to get up praising Him, I have to go to bed doing it because what I fall asleep with on my brain affects my whole night's rest and my attitudes and feelings in the morning.
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